Stacey came into my office back when people could actually talk to one another face-to-face and said. “I just don’t know where to start. I need to move out, but it seems like the timing is all wrong.” And then we talked about pausing to build a divorce “game plan.”

The timing feels wrong to a lot of stressed couples right now. Just as they thought they would make a real move to exit their marriage a pandemic hits and turns everything upside down. We live in very strange times.

Perhaps you feel the same way. You or your spouse may have lost your job, the real estate market may be a mess, and your investments may have dropped in value. In short, just about everything has changed. So, it makes perfect sense to just hold off for a while.

So now what? There are thee important steps you can take that will give you an advantage in your future discussions and may even answer the question of when the time will be right.

It all boils down to creating a game plan; a strategy based on your financial realities and what you want most. Having a strategy to follow before you call the lawyer will make things go from being a hit or miss exercise to one where you will be in control. You will save money, time, and perhaps your sanity.

Much of what I talk about in this article can be found in the “Smart Divorce Planner” and “The Financially Smart Divorce”.  You can download the free planner and get a pdf copy of the book by going to our info center at wentworthdivorceconsultants.com by clicking here.  You can get the official eBook or hardcopy on Amazon by clicking here.

How to Create Your Divorce Game Plan

There are three steps to building your divorce game plan. 

1.      Organize and really understand your finances… both the good and the bad.

2.      Determine what you want and need most to be happy and secure

3.      Crunch the numbers and get a head start on building your settlement.

Step 1 -Organize and Understand Your Finances

The first step is to get your finances organized and understood.  The court requires this information anyway so you might as well dive in and get clear on what you own and where you spend your money.

First, take an inventory of every asset and debt that you have.

• Get copies of your investment accounts and bank accounts.

• Ask the benefits department of current and past employers for info on any pension and retirement accounts.

• Pull together your credit card and mortgage statements.

• Grab a copy of your life insurance contracts.

• Get an estimate of the value of your real estate.

Second, look at where you spend your money.

• Pull copies of your last 12 months debit and credit card statements.

• Get copies of your utility bills and other home related expenses.

• Think about how these numbers might change if you are living separately. It is tedious but really important exercise.

Lastly, understand your family income

• Get a detailed copy of your and your spouses latest pay stub, the one with all the deductions taken out.

You can create your own spreadsheet to organize this information or you can have a divorce financial analyst do the work for you.  We have an online tool that you can use to get this all easily plugged in and sorted out. (More on that in a minute.)

Why do all this work?

• You will know what needs to be talked about in your mediation. Odds are it will take the mystery out of financial discussions and reduce your anxiety.

• You can get a good idea of what your finances will look like in your new life.

• You will know whether it makes financial sense to move out of your marriage.

• You will also have the information a lawyer and mediator will be asking for and everything you need for court paperwork.

Step 2 - Determine What is Most Important to You

What are your priorities?

Most people only have a fuzzy idea of what they are. Whether it is staying in the family home, keeping your pension intact, or income support so you have time to get trained for a better job take the time to think about it.

What are you wiling to compromise on?

Thinking through hat you are willing to bend on is can make negotiations go more smoothly.

• Are you willing to take more in spousal support in return for fewer investment assets?

• What will you give your spouse in return for not sharing your pension.

• Are you willing to co-own the family home in order to continue living there?

Step 3 - Do a Divorce Financial Assessment

Wouldn’t you like to get the financial side of your divorce figured out before you step into the mediator’s office?  You can. In fact, you can get most of the important stuff nailed down and just focus on the few issues to be settled.

Now this takes a little computer power to pull off. or at least a good facility with spreadsheets. And being a numbers person helps. But however you do it, there is value in dividing your property on paper and getting a sneak peak at your future financial life.

Whether you do it yourself or get the help from a divorce analyst you should:

• Assign assets and debts between spouses until you find just the right balance.

• Test out what happens if your incomes and expenses change over time. Are you saving money or spending down your savings?

• Run a multi-year cash flow and net worth projection to get insights on your future financial security.

The point is that a little preliminary math will give you insights on whether the time is right to move on, and if not, what needs to change to make it financially smart to do so.

Shameless promotional note…We offer a $395 service to help you do all this. Click here to learn more about our “Fresh-Start Financial Assessment”. We give you complete and clear analyses of your finances both before and after your divorce in a format both you and your mediator or attorney will love.

A Game Plan for Success

So take the time to get fully prepared for the day you decide to move forward. You will save on lawyer and mediation fees and be more focused. And you will sleep better at night knowing more about your finances, the issues to be dealt with, and what you want and need most.

We are here to help.  Please call us at 401 533-4142, or email us at wentworthplanning@gmail.com if you have questions of any kind.